well... had a big quarrel with dear on friday abt the quarrels tis wk, mostly talkin abt the vouchers ting, hw i'm stubborn n dun lk ppl to tell me n i jus do it. then also abt hw i cant handle tings cos will pick on him and hw even if i dun tink its my fault i shldn talk to him in a bad tone, tt sort of things....
fri started with me meetin dear for dinner, n i had warned him tt i cant reali cfm the time to meet cos i noe i'll b rushin tt stupid E**I stuff since i wun b ard on mon n tues. bt tt was ok, cos dear said he'll wait. n so wen we met up, we walked over to suntec. bt tings din feel rite cos i was the one talkin most of the time n he was v laggy n nua nua. so i asked if its cos he was sick n if so then we can jus eat anythin n go hm (tryin to be considerate). bt he said he's ok so we proceeded over to hav dinner at marina subway, which ran out of bread so we went to suntec subway.
by tis time i tink i asked him abt 9 times if he's ok le.... cos he was talkin to me in a fakey kinda way, lk fake concern n those plastic answers....
then we jus ate n prep to go home, wen he rec'd a call fm his frens askin him out n he said ok. then i asked him again for the duno hw mani times wats wrong wif him tt day. n he said he'll tell me. so on the shuttle bus, he said its got to do wif all the quarrels tt we had tis wk n if i cant change then he'll change, by avoiding conflict with him. so then we argued on the bus, n his frens kept sms/call him so i jus stop talkin n close my eyes.
wen we got off the bus n walked for quite a distance, he asked me y i dun hav anythin to say. i said "i asked u a qn jus now bt u din reply yet", then he said "y cant u repeat agn if tt's wat u always said i din do?" n tt started the whole argument agn. in the lift we jus kept quiet n wen the lift opened, i refuse to walk out cos he had the look which i noe he'll jus walk off n nt send me to e door n go meet his frens. he jus sorta yank me out of the lift n i walked first, n open e door. i din noe he had walked off so i turn ard n there's no one!!
i was so angry tt he jus walked off!! i left the door open n went upstairs to find him bt he wasnt there, so i walked one more flight up n shouted at him " so u jus gonna walk off like tt?" then agrue abt "u walk off first, u din say anythin" blah blah.
anyway, cut the story short is we went back to my hse bt din talk cos i was wiping dog poo n he was waitin in the hall. wen i finished, i walked out fm kitchen, casually pointed at the door n asked "so wat time u meetin them?" he took it as i was chasin him n he said "ok, i leave, so u hav nothin to say". i was so angry i said "the whole nite i asked u so mani times wats wrong n u lied to me by saying nothin. jus now u jus walk off fm me n now u r gog to do the same thing? so u r v rite in doin all these things???"
he jus gave me a v angry n fierce look n reali walk out of the door.
i was soooooooo angry.... i walked back to my room n called him. sayin tt he shldn hav done tt to me n everythin. he oso yelled back at me tt i was the one who pointed at the door, n it was his frens who arranged to meet even b4 he asked me out for fri. then he said 3 quarrels in a wk is not a gd sign, lk tt how to have any future....
anyway, he walked back n we talked. bt then his frens called agn n he had to go. i went to pee n wen i came out to the hall, he jus hugged me n said " the point is.... i love u.... n so i know its not goin to work if it cont's to b lk tis, tt's y its so impt to me. u hav to admit ur faults..."
i was so touched, i cried. cos he seldom says the 3 words to me....
guess the counter is restarted agn. i must avoid quarrels. must improve myself. target no quarrels for next 3 mths, baby steps first. so until 22/9/07!!!!!
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